Saturday, November 13, 2010

Those days were gone - a long time ago. :(

I came to Melbourne in 2001 via Ansett Airline, which, as you may already know, went bankrupt in the same year.

It was also the year when those two airplanes crashed into the World Trading Centre in Washington on 9/11.

An eventful year it was.
Then in 2002, Daimaru Melbourne Central Store closed down.

In early that year I turned 30 and, I saw it as the last chance to do something stupid like studying writing in Australia.

Writing has always been my ultimate hobby and my childhood dream was to become a writer…HA-HA.

The reason I write in English initially stemmed from my personal issue.

When I was going through my puberty, I used to expose my most intimate thoughts and feelings in my diary like many teenage girls would – and the diary, was always discovered and read by my mum and the result was not so pleasant.

Writing in Japanese became somewhat traumatizing to me as I grew up.
Then I stopped writing altogether, as I felt shy and paranoid that I might end up rubbing my family the wrong way – it was though, until I saw a perfect alternative in English to writing in Japanese.

My English was bad – really bad at that time.
I never passed test like Ei-ken or scored high mark in TOEFL exam.
I tried every way to improve my English, but it had always ended in failure until I started buying ‘English Journal’.
The magazine was entertaining to read and wasn’t too difficult like some other English magazines I’d purchased before. I listened to the cassette tape everyday and studied like mad - like I’d never done in my life.
After the 3-month effort, I somehow managed to score 618 in TOEIC exam.
Yeah, I know. It’s absolutely NOTHING to brag about.

I didn’t care if my writing was good or bad.
Writing in English gave me the freedom I had never felt before.
Then I started writing stories a year before coming to Melbourne.

It’s laughable that I believed seriously back then, that I was really good…and the fact that some teachers at English school suspected I was copying from newspapers helped me to become even cockier than I was already.

When I decided to apply for the professional writing and editing course in RMIT, however, even those teachers thought my attempt was way too audacious, but I was so determined and nothing discouraged me from entering the course.

I was miraculously accepted into the course in 2002 – and my confidence started to wane from Day 1. (another HA-HA.)
There were professional writers around me, and there were only a handful of overseas students in the course. My writing was of course, not up to their standard.

‘You have good stories to write.’ Guys from the course used to say to me just to be polite.
I can’t even remember how many books I had to read to learn words, expressions and appropriate context to use them, but it was a process I came to enjoy.

The next year, I gradually became accepted into the creative crowd and befriended with some.
At that time it looked as though they decided to take me slightly more seriously than 1st year, but I’ve no clue if I wasn’t just being delusional.
It doesn't matter now. At least, I survived through the course.

The important thing is that I thoroughly enjoyed the course. All I had to do was doing what I'm passionate about, without ever having to worry about exams - I hate exams!!!
Plus I never regretted doing the course.
It was the most amazing experience, which I felt privileged to have had.

The only thing that disturbs me these days is that every time I see or talk to friends from the course they keep asking me if I’ve been writing anything.

Yeah… sort of.
I write this blog and that’s my limit.
Am I doing this just to indulge myself, I sometimes wonder?
Is this a pathetic effort? - I hope not.

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